How Inhibition Shapes Our Lives and How to Reclaim Authenticity
Introduction to Salter’s Theory of Inhibition and Excitation
Salter’s theory of inhibition and excitation explores how individuals regulate their behaviour and emotional responses. Inhibition involves suppressing thoughts, emotions, and behaviours, often in response to fear, social conditioning, or internalised beliefs. Excitation, on the other hand, represents the uninhibited, authentic expression of self. While inhibition can serve a protective purpose, chronic inhibition leads to disconnection from one’s authentic self, affecting life decisions, relationships, health, and overall well-being.
8 Case Samples of Inhibition in Everyday Life
1. Inhibited Family Dynamics
In some families, emotional expression is discouraged. For example, a child may grow up in a household where showing sadness or anger is met with punishment or dismissal, leading them to internalise the belief that expressing emotions is unsafe. As adults, they may struggle to communicate their needs or emotions in relationships, resulting in emotional disconnection and challenges in forming deep, authentic bonds.
2. Suppressing Emotional Responses and Values to Avoid Rejection
Many individuals avoid setting boundaries or expressing values in fear of confrontation. For example, someone may consistently agree to social engagements they don’t enjoy to avoid upsetting others. Over time, this leads to feelings of resentment and emotional burnout, as their personal values and desires are continuously sidelined.
3. Fear of Judgement When Carving One’s Own Path
Choosing a career, hobby, or lifestyle that differs from societal norms can trigger inhibition. For instance, someone passionate about becoming an artist may avoid pursuing it due to fear of being perceived as unrealistic or irresponsible. Instead, they choose a “safer” career path, leading to long-term dissatisfaction and regret.
4. Avoiding Opportunities Due to Fear of Failure
An individual might dream of starting their own business but avoid the opportunity due to fear of failing and financial insecurity. This avoidance leads to stagnation and a lingering sense of ‘what if,’ as they suppress their ambitions to maintain perceived safety.
5. Difficulty Expressing Affection or Love
Someone who grew up in an environment where affection was rarely shown may feel inhibited in expressing love to their partner. They might hesitate to say “I love you” or avoid physical affection, creating emotional distance and misunderstandings within the relationship.
6. Adhering to Social Norms at the Cost of Personal Desires
A person may feel pressured to marry and start a family by a certain age, even though their true desire is to travel and explore personal passions. Suppressing this desire to conform to societal expectations can lead to a sense of unfulfilment and identity confusion.
7. Not Speaking Up in Group Settings
In meetings, an individual may have valuable ideas but choose to stay silent out of fear of sounding foolish. This inhibition can impact their career progression and self-esteem, as they internalise the belief that their voice and ideas lack value.
8. Avoiding Vulnerability
Someone who has experienced rejection may avoid emotional vulnerability to protect themselves. They might keep conversations superficial and avoid deeper connections, resulting in feelings of loneliness and isolation despite being socially active.
Consequences of Chronic Inhibition
Macro and Micro-Level Consequences
Chronic inhibition affects individuals on both a large (macro) and small (micro) scale. Macro consequences are those that shape the overall direction and satisfaction of life, while micro consequences occur in everyday decisions and behaviours. Both levels intertwine, as small daily choices accumulate and influence long-term outcomes.
- Suppressed Energy (Micro): Consistently holding back thoughts, feelings, and actions leads to accumulated emotional fatigue and physical exhaustion. It can manifest as a low-level, persistent sense of discomfort or depletion.
- Giving Up on Dreams (Macro): Over time, inhibition can result in abandoning long-term aspirations, whether it’s starting a business, pursuing creative passions, or embracing personal relationships. This can leave individuals with feelings of regret or dissatisfaction later in life.
- Small Daily Decisions (Micro): Avoiding minor confrontations, suppressing preferences, or neglecting personal needs gradually shapes an inauthentic life. Although these decisions may seem insignificant, they can lead to a pattern of self-denial and disconnection from personal values.
Biological, Social, Personal, and Cognitive Consequences
Biological Consequences
- Nervous System Dysregulation: Chronic inhibition keeps the nervous system in a prolonged state of sympathetic arousal (fight or flight), leading to increased levels of stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline. This can manifest as persistent tension, digestive issues, and disrupted sleep.
- Impaired Neuroplasticity: The brain becomes conditioned to avoid perceived threats, reducing the flexibility to adapt and respond authentically in new situations.
- Physical Symptoms: Headaches, muscle tension, digestive discomfort, and cardiovascular strain can arise from the chronic internal stress of suppression.
Personal Consequences
- Loss of Self and Identity: When choices are consistently shaped by the needs and expectations of others, individuals may lose touch with their authentic selves. They might struggle to identify their favourite hobbies, places they enjoy, or even their preferred type of music or food.
- Fragmented Self: By prioritising others’ wants, individuals may forget to serve their own needs, resulting in a fragmented sense of self. They may find it difficult to know what genuinely brings them joy or satisfaction.
- Living an Orchestrated Life: When life choices are driven by external pressures, it can lead to feelings of emptiness and confusion. Living according to others’ expectations may contribute to conditions such as anxiety, depression, and psychosomatic disorders, as noted in Salter’s ‘Conditioned Reflex Therapy.’
Social and Relational Consequences
- Surface-Level Relationships: Suppressing emotional expression can lead to shallow connections, as vulnerability is essential for building deeper bonds.
- Conflict Avoidance: Inhibited individuals may avoid healthy confrontations, leading to unspoken resentment and unresolved issues in relationships.
- Isolation: Fear of judgement or rejection can lead to withdrawing from social interactions, increasing feelings of loneliness and disconnection.
Cognitive Consequences
- Reinforced Negative Beliefs: Chronic inhibition can entrench cognitive distortions such as “I’m not good enough” or “I must always avoid conflict.” These beliefs become automatic, shaping how individuals perceive themselves and the world.
- Internal Criticism: Suppressed thoughts and feelings may result in harsh self-talk, where individuals criticise themselves for perceived inadequacies or mistakes.
- Decision Paralysis: Fear of making the wrong choice can lead to overthinking, indecisiveness, and missed opportunities. The brain becomes stuck in a loop of caution, inhibiting growth and change.
Assertiveness Training to Bolster Excitation
Assertiveness training is an effective strategy for individuals looking to overcome inhibition and foster excitation. It involves learning to express thoughts, feelings, and needs openly and respectfully while maintaining regard for others. This empowers individuals to act in alignment with their authentic selves.
Strategies to Improve Assertiveness:
- Imaginal Rehearsal: This involves mentally visualising scenarios where assertiveness is required, such as setting a boundary with a colleague. By imagining oneself confidently expressing needs, the brain begins to normalise these behaviours, reducing anxiety and enhancing readiness for real-life situations.
- Exposure Therapy: Gradual exposure to situations that trigger inhibition can build resilience. For instance, starting by practising assertiveness in low-pressure environments, like expressing a preference when ordering food, and gradually progressing to more challenging scenarios.
- Role-Playing: Practising assertiveness with a trusted friend or therapist can reinforce confidence. This helps in refining language, tone, and body posture to communicate effectively.
- Positive Reinforcement: Acknowledge and celebrate assertive behaviour, no matter how small. This creates a positive feedback loop, encouraging the brain to view assertiveness as a safe and rewarding choice.
- Script Development: Preparing statements or responses in advance for challenging situations can ease anxiety. Having go-to phrases enhances confidence in moments of inhibition.
Conclusion
Overcoming inhibition is not about striving for perfection but about embracing the courage to express oneself authentically, even in small ways. Through awareness, cognitive reframing, and assertiveness training, individuals can dismantle the barriers that keep them from living fully. It’s in the daily practice of choosing authenticity that true excitation grows. Each small step fosters confidence, reshapes beliefs, and nurtures deeper connections. This journey leads to reclaiming energy, strengthening relationships, and the freedom to live a life that genuinely reflects one’s true self.
1-1 Coaching Support
If you resonate with the challenges of inhibition and feel ready to embrace more authentic expression, I offer 1-1 coaching to help you identify the roots of inhibition and develop strategies to increase excitation. This work can help mend the fragmented self, gradually revealing your true identity and inner desires. Through guided support, we will explore personalised techniques to foster confidence, set healthy boundaries, and reconnect with your authentic self.
Bibliography
- Salter, A. (1949). Conditioned Reflex Therapy.
- Salter, A. (2019). Conditioned Reflex Therapy: The Practical Keys to Unlocking Your Confidence, Authenticity and Happiness – and Leaving Anxiety, Loneliness and Depression Behind. London, England: Watkins Publishing