This might be apparent to some, but it’s worth asking: how often do we truly acknowledge the impact of our thoughts on our emotions and behaviours? And how many of us realise that we can become trapped in a negative cycle where our thoughts influence our emotions and behaviors, which in turn generate more negative thoughts and emotions about ourselves? This ongoing cycle exemplifies the connection between our mind and body, highlighting the importance of being aware of this interplay.
So, here’s a simple breakdown of this connection:
Thoughts → Emotions: Our thoughts directly influence our emotions. For example, if you constantly think negative thoughts about yourself or your abilities, you’re likely to experience feelings of self-doubt, sadness, or anxiety. Positive thoughts, on the other hand, can lead to feelings of confidence and happiness.
Emotions → Behaviours: Emotions can lead to various behaviours. For example, when you’re angry, you might exhibit behaviours like yelling, slamming doors, or withdrawing from a situation. When you’re happy, you might engage in behaviours like smiling, being more sociable, or engaging in activities you enjoy.
Behaviours → Thoughts and Emotions: Our behaviours can, in turn, affect our thoughts and emotions. Engaging in certain behaviours can reinforce our existing thought patterns and emotions. For example, avoiding social situations due to social anxiety can reinforce the belief that you’re not good at socialising and can lead to feelings of isolation.
Let’s give a couple of real-life examples:
- Thought (Cognition): Gemma believes that she’s not very good at making conversation with people. She thinks she’ll embarrass herself and be judged negatively in social situations.
- Emotion: Gemma experiences intense anxiety and fear before social outings. She anticipates rejection and feels a heightened sense of self-consciousness.
- Behaviour: Due to her anxiety, Gemma avoids social gatherings or speaks very little when amongst people. This avoidance reinforces her belief that she is socially inadequate, creating a loop where her avoidance prevents the development of social skills, further confirming her negative thoughts.
- Thought (Cognition): James thinks that nothing ever goes right for him. He tends to interpret events in a negative light.
- Emotion: James constantly feels sad and hopeless and finds it hard to experience joy or interest in activities he used to enjoy.
- Behaviour: James withdraws from social activities, neglects self-care, and has difficulty concentrating at work. His withdrawal and lack of engagement in positive activities reinforce his negative beliefs, contributing to a cycle of increasing depression.
Activity
This exercise is designed to normalise our thought patterns, whether positive or negative. It’s important to understand that a negative mindset often stems from our evolutionary background, as well as from what we’ve learned throughout our childhood and experiences. Our thought patterns are behaviours learned over time, ingrained in our brains through the repeated recall of memories and experiences, and are also driven by evolutionary survival mechanisms. Remember, we’re all undergoing the same biological journey. We’re not alone, nor are we abnormal or crazy!
So, take 5 minutes to think about a repetitve ‘negative’ thought you have and how that thought makes you feel emotionally. Does that emotion spark more negative thinking?
Now think about how you behave when you are repetitively having this thoughts. Do you isolate yourself? Do you snap at people around you? Do you drink or take drugs? What’s happening in your body – is your heart rate faster or do you feel a stirring anxiety in your stomach?
And how do those bodily sensations make you behave, what do they make you think?
Now, take a deep breath in through the nose and out through the mouth, and, if you can, flip this exercise and focus on a ‘kind’ thought about yourself. (If this doesn’t come naturally to you, don’t get stressed about it. Many of us find it so much harder to think kindly of ourselves as opposed to thinking about everything we don’t like about ourselves).
How does this kind thought make you feel? Is there a spark of relief from anxiety? Does it make you feel momentarily lighter at heart? If you repeat this kind thought about yourself, does it affect your emotions? How do you think this change in emotional state may affect your behaviour today?
If this exercise doesn’t present much to you at first, I urge you to keep having a go at it. This emphasis on how we are thinking, feeling, and behaving is usually not something we are taught to do in our lives. It can feel uncomfortable at first. Many of us, myself included, can actually feel extreme discomfort when praising ourselves. However, focusing on how our thoughts, emotions, and behaviours inform one another is a key part of learning to bring some peace to our mind and body.
Happy thought observing! Embrace this journey with curiosity and openness.